![]() ![]() I was like, “I’m a liar.” I didn’t even do what the song told me to do… You know what? I didn’t sleep with them. ![]() What the fuck? And then we went back up to the room. If it’s at night or anything, I know what’s going to happen.” And my bitch ass went, got a drink with them and not coffee. I went to New York and I was dating someone there that I really liked and I was like, “OK, we’re not going to go to a bar, we’re just going to go get coffee or sit in a park during the daytime. So I think that getting coffee was my excuse to talk to an ex, and maybe it’s better that we not get coffee at all. But the reality is, even if they say that to you, that doesn’t mean anything. But we’ve convinced ourselves that you need the words and the affirmation that this is done and it’s going to be OK. You can love a friend, and then it turns into romantic love, and then it turns into a deeper love whenever you’re not compatible in that way.Ĭlosure is so toxic because closure doesn’t come from the other person, it comes from yourself. And that’s what I mean by “love is a kaleidoscope,” because love is not just one thing. I still love her even though it didn’t work out. It just takes time to go back to being friends after you crossed that line. I understood that she didn’t want to be with me. Whatever you decide, I will understand.” And it’s true. I was like, “I don’t know what’s going to happen. This is what love feels like.” And the next day she was like, “Can we talk about it?” And while I was waiting for her to get off work, I just wrote the song. And I was like, “Oh my God, this confirms so much.” I was like, “I’m queer. We were dancing on the dancefloor and I started crying and we just started making out. I had told my best friend the night before that I was in love with her. That song was written in three hours by myself because I just had so many feelings. ![]() Junior H Breaks Down His New Album - And Shares Why Latin Grammys' Corridos Snub Breaks His Heart This whole song was just like, “I want a song that drag queens can do fully.” It’s inspired by drag. I don’t know what to do.” And he did, and he slayed. And I was like, “Who does her stuff? Let’s just get them on here.” So we sent it to Mike Wise, who did “Yuck.” I was like, “Please fix this. I couldn’t tell what we were supposed to do with it. But that song was a bitch to finish because we could not figure it out. It was just sitting in my notes app for months and months. And she’s like, “It’s just super graphic and it’s ultra-modern.” I don’t know why, but I was like, “ding.” I wrote it down. I don’t even remember who it was, but this lady was talking about the architecture of this house. I literally was inspired by an Architectural Digest video. I just, hands down, was like, “We need club.” It’s an undeniable gay pop song. It’s a phase.’ It’s for my teenage self.”įrom her bedroom in Los Angeles, Chapell Roan breaks down her five favorite songs from The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess and talks online relationships, finding closure with exes, and falling in love with her bestie. “The album is for the girl in high school who was like, ‘It’s a phase. I feel like I represent the queer kid in the Midwest that broke out and just became a fucking dragon,” she says. “I’d love to represent the queer kid in high school that just wanted to be a wife and really proper and ladylike. And I’m going to pretend like this is the only world that it lives in.’” I was like, ‘I’m going to write about the part that I always wanted to feel: just complete freedom and euphoria and sparkles. “I was writing about girls and the thought of girls. “When I started the album, I was in a four-and-a-half-year relationship with a man,” says Roan, 25. Chappell is a drag-queen version of myself.”Ĭhappell Roan is the onstage persona of Kayleigh Rose Amstutz, a Missouri-born rising star who’s taken the pop scene by storm over the past year with singles like WeHo-inspired “Pink Pony Club” and the fan favorite “My Kink Is Karma.” On Friday, Roan will release her debut album, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess, a project she says has allowed her to finally “come to accept my queerness.” “I just happen to perform drag to my own songs. ![]() That’s what this is,’” she recalls, pointing out her shaved-off eyebrows. She realized her stage name, the costumes, the makeup… all of it was her own version of drag. You know that, right?” Those words led to an immediate epiphany for the singer. Chappell Roan was getting ready to perform in London this summer when one of the drag queens she’d picked to open her show told her: “ You’re a drag queen. ![]()
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